More Jim

The days that followed were a bit strange. I was not really sure if our experience was real or not, but the pictures proved we really had done it. I was – once again – a little ashamed, but also proud. Proud to have tried something I hadn't had the courage to do before, and proud to have shared it with my partner. After the first days of slight puzzlement and doubts that ensued, everything was back to normal and we could safely say that nothing had changed between us and that we had only shared a wonderful experience. During these days, I couldn't even say “I love you” to Mick, because technically, I had betrayed him with another man, so maybe claiming that I loved him would sound like mockery to him. But this slight sense of discomfort was quickly overcome by both of us.

We repeated the experience with Jim a few times, not many, but I didn't count them. The following time it was Mick who made Jim's cock explode, but instead of passing the hot sperm into my mouth, he preferred swallowing it. Bastard! But I liked the thought that he could do it without any worries.

Then, one day, Mick couldn't come because he was abroad, but he watched Jim shag me on his computer screen, just as Jim had watched us in the past. I liked it a little less, because Mick wasn't really physically there and couldn't hear everything I said, like how much superior Jim's cock was compared to Mick's, how much I enjoyed being fucked by Jim, that sometimes I didn't feel Mick inside me at all, and all those nice things. But I still enjoyed it because he was taking part in some way.

Another time Mick was hiding inside my wardrobe. I had sent a text to Jim to know if he had time and he would come by for a quickie (or whatever was closest to it, since he was quite resistant too), because I had little time. He did come and shag me with Mick busy masturbating in the wardrobe. This was just fantastic, one of the sexiest things I ever did.

I was very happy. These encounters didn't happen often, which was good, because this way they were some special occasions and we didn't get used to them or, worse, bored of them. And we had new interesting photos to publish on the internet sites, and we got new requests. I have to say that every time we had agreed on meeting, when I was waiting for the moment to arrive, I was always nervous and a little grumpy, I couldn't help it. But when the boys finally ended up in bed with me, all anxiousness and nervousness is forgotten.

Second time with Jim

I was happy that he thought about it like this. A few weeks went by and we didn't meet either Jim nor other people. I was still imagining what it would be like to feel a real big cock inside my pussy, with this warm and soft skin I had felt on Jim's. But I was simply too shy, or too full of doubts, I didn't really know. We still broadcast sex over the web cam and chatted with our friends, and I was fine with that and hoped Mick was, too. I asked him if it would be alright for him if we repeated the experience exactly the same way, and he said yes, why not.

A few days later, on a Monday morning, Mick called me on the phone and asked: “You ready for the afternoon? Jim would like to come by.” I said: “Sure, OK, see you later.” I tidied up a little, prepared the bed again and even put out all my dildos. I had a bath and shaved my pussy very carefully. And in the end I said to myself: “Oh, what the heck. Let's try it for once, I can stop at any point if I don't like it. I downed a couple of beers and waited. Mick invented some excuse in order to arrive later, since he was curious if I would let myself go if he wasn't there and begin to play with Jim, but I didn't want to start without him, so I waited, getting more and more nervous, almost angry, till they both arrived at the doorstep. Jim had brought the result of his latest blood test to show he was clean. Mick had brought the camera and put it in the bedroom.

I lay down on the bed, now completely relaxed, I felt safe now that Mick was with me. “Enjoy, simply enjoy” said a little voice in my head. I saw Mick sitting down on the bed to my right and Jim approaching on the left.

I closed my eyes and thought, for the first time, that I finally had two men at my disposal and I could do whatever I wanted, and they could do whatever they wanted to me (well, almost everything). With my eyes still closed, I felt the two warm bodies close to me. I started stroking Mick's cock and I let Jim stroke my face with his... my whole face... and I was lost. I knew from that moment on that I was going all the way. I took it in both hands, looking at it for the first time. I held this wonderful, pulsating cock in my hands, and I knew Mick liked the fact that it looked even bigger in my small hands. I didn't want to talk, or I couldn't, I was like in a cloud of lust, sex and sensuality and I was afraid to ruin everything by speaking. So I just felt and enjoyed. Mick took a few pictures, then he came to me and put his cock inside me to prepare me.

I couldn't help smiling when I felt it almost “swim”, I felt how hot and wet and large my pussy already was. Mick then turned me around, put his cock in again, while I grabbed Jim's cock. I had never forgotten the greedy expression Mick had worn when he was sucking Jim, so I wanted to see for myself. And by God, it was... amazing. I pushed it in my mouth as deeply as I could, moaning slightly. It was hot, pulsating, hard, wonderful, unbelievable. I sighed and sucked and stroked his shaft as much as I could. A few moments later, Mick and Jim changed sides. Mick whispered: “Would you like to try it?”, but he knew the answer already. I nodded frantically, since I couldn't speak at the moment. Mick took a condom, unwrapped it and rolled it over Jim's hard and stiff cock. Jim moved behind me, I was on my knees. I could feel the warmth already... I closed my eyes and waited. For the fraction of a second, I felt the tiniest bit of fear and I was hoping for him to enter quickly, or I would change my mind once again... and then... SLAM! He was in. At last. I made it.

A stranger was fucking me, no longer my partner. And then my pussy noticed the change too. It widened immediately to let this wonderful stiff cock in. And then he started. He started shagging me for real, with heavy, quick movements, which were so unlike Mick's. I couldn't help moaning loudly with surprise and lust. This was perfect. It was different from everything I had – or hadn't – expected. I felt like I was lifted off the ground. I was breathing heavily and moaning louder and louder. My pussy and this dick seemed to belong together. Mick whispered: “Do you like it?” Of course, this was a rhetorical question, as he could tell from the look on my face. I nodded once again and grabbed his cock, so he wouldn't feel left out, but I couldn't really do much with it because Jim was pumping me like mad and I couldn't coordinate my movements. The moment I reached it, it struck me how different they were. How much smaller Mick's cock felt at that moment. And how heavily Jim fucked me from behind. I felt like a real slut and a queen at the same time, and I couldn't have enjoyed it more.

I waved my hands to signal Jim that he should pause. He stopped, sweaty and breathing fast. I turned around, took his cock in my hands, the condom off and then sucked it hard. After I few seconds I stopped and made a hand gesture towards Mick, who understood and came close to suck Jim's cock together with me. I felt a sort of enormous relief, a sense of love and sharing I had never experienced before. I understood that this adventure would bring us even closer together than we already were. It was like an epiphany.

We went on sucking it for a bit, then Mick asked if I wanted to take both their cocks together. I nodded automatically. Hell yes, I did. Mick lay underneath me, I sat on his now relatively small feeling cock and rode it. Jim pulled on a new condom, stopped me from riding and added his own stiff one. It went in without any problem.

I felt two cocks now inside my large pussy, and they were like one. I thought about Mick, who also was feeling this thick cock stroking his own, and it made me even wetter. Mick pushed as much as he could with his small one, and Jim deeper and deeper... I moaned and cried, and I didn't care a single bit about my neighbors. The only thing I was thinking was that they might be jealous...

After a while I couldn't take it any more. I let them both slid outside my burning, large pussy, took Mick's in my left hand and Jim's in my right one and stroked them both at the same time and then sticking one in my mouth while stroking the other, and the other way round. Then I concentrated on Jim's cock only, stroking and sucking it faster and faster. He started breathing hectically and very loudly, I stroked and sucked even harder and faster, and he shouted: “No, no, you'll make me come... yes... I'm coming, I'm coming!” With three or four heavy squirts, he came right into my mouth.

I felt the warmth of his sperm once more, but much more intense, all in my mouth... I took in all I could, then slowly moved towards Mick underneath me and looked at his face, to see if he would let me, then kissed him, passing all of Jim's squirt inside his mouth. I couldn't believe myself how slutty I was, but I was proud to be a slut.

Jim then passed on to do a few other things to me. He pushed my biggest dildos, the black and the enormous white one,

inside my pussy (by the way, that was the last time I ever used them up to now, I just can't play with them when I think I can have a real one instead!) and he even fisted me. Mick's hands were too big and I didn't manage myself without wrenching my arm, but Jim's hand was just right.

I felt like I had to make up that day for all the occasions I'd lost before. It seems like I couldn't get enough. After Jim had cum once more, he thanked us and left us alone. Mick immediately went on to lick my pussy and made me climax several times. It took me a while, since it felt a bit as if it was anesthetized, but I loved how he whispered: “My little bitch. Now, at last, I can lick a real pussy. I like it even more now that it has been used and fucked by a real cock. Thank you.”

First time with Jim

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Fred, the little

It happened more and more frequently that when I had sex with Mick, I couldn't really feel him. My pussy had really stretched a lot. “A big cock's slutty pussy”, said Mick, who loved to feel “lost in space” inside me. He liked it a lot when I said thinks like, “I can't feel you”, “Mark would be so much bigger”, “what a beautiful cock X has got”, or when I simply typed messages into my computer, not caring about the fact that he was trying to fuck me.

“Maybe it could help you if you knew what other people think about having a threesome?” he suggested one day. I wasn't quite happy about it. I didn't like the idea of people I know, or even worse, friends, knowing about my sex life. I never ask anybody about their sex lives, I'm not interested, it's their thing, so I don't want to talk about it myself. It's private. On the other hand, maybe I could ask people who are not really friends?

Mick had known a very nice person on the internet who enjoyed having his wife shagged by a big one, and he confirmed that there's no going back: once a woman tries a large, dominant cock, she usually wants to go on doing it. Hm. Would I want this? Becoming big-cock-dependent? I couldn't tell. One night while we were having sex Mick told me again how surprised he was about me, how I had changed, and how large my pussy had become. I grinned and thought of Fred. Fred and his little thing. Mick noticed my expression and rightly guessed: “Are you thinking of Fred?” I nodded. He continued: “You always said he was very small, but how small was he really? Maybe you're just saying that so as not to make me feel bad.” I snorted. “No dear, he was really very small. I really don't understand now how I could ever have had sex with him.” I was astonished at hearing my own words, but I was really thinking what I had said at that moment. Mick then said: “Why don't you call him and ask him if he would have enjoyed having his wife shagged by a real cock?” I laughed out loud: “Believe me, he's really not the type. He wears his little one very proudly, as if it was huge.” “Well, at least I want to know how long it really is. Call him up.” “No.” “Yes.” “No.” “Please”.

In the end I gave in, but I was not very light-hearted when I phoned my ex who was, of course, very surprised. Mick and I were still shagging, but he kept really silent, so that Fred must have thought I was just masturbating, and swiftly followed suit. I found it hard to concentrate and in the end we managed to exchange just a few words, then he came and Mick and I also came to an end. I didn't have the chance to ask him if maybe he would have liked to be cuckolded, but I did ask him to tell me how long his dick was, and he had the cheek to answer: “16 cm.” I almost jumped and got angry, because Mick would take me for a liar now. But he didn't and he had an idea: in exchange for a couple of my pictures with a dildo inserted he should send me a picture or a video back of his cock. I did what Mick suggested and Fred sent me the pictures and the video. When we looked at them, I couldn't help grinning broadly. “16 cm my ass! See? It's tiny. Never again would I allow someone with such a small dick to shag me!” “Calm down”, Mick grinned as well, because I had told the truth and because it was really, rally tiny. In fact, it looked like a plum. Poor Fred, his dick could swim now in my pussy. “What about John?” he asked. “You said he was only a bit larger than me, but I don't know how much.” “Well, how will I find out?” I replied. “I haven't heard him for ages, I can't just send him an e-mail asking him how long his dick is.” Mick paused to think and then said: “When I log in with your address, I see him online sometimes. I'll just pretend to be you and find out.”

I was a little sceptical, but I trusted Mick. He sometimes logged in with my name and chatted a little with our common friends, in order to learn what they thought about me and himself. I had no problem with that, as long as he didn't write anything I would never even think, but he knew me really well by then. And so, chatting with an unsuspecting John, Mick really found out how long it was... 16 cm, just 1,5 cm longer than his own. We also tried finding out if he would be interested in a threesome now, but he hadn't changed his mind. He wouldn't mind a quick fuck at all, but only with me, and that was out of the question. Only I was really, really curious now and thought: I might as well try... we'll only find out if we like it by doing it! So, at long last, after months and months, possibly years of struggling with myself, I told Mick I had decided I wanted to try it out. We decided to give it a go.

A right little slut

On one rare occasions I showed myself on cam without Mick, I chatted with a guy called Mark. He wasn't the politest of the people we had met on the net, but his cock was... indescribable. It was straight and 23 cm long. Fabulous. He was one of my favourites. I was having a bath and praising his cock and telling him what I would do to it if I could lay my hands and mouth on it... I realized it was incredible what a big cock could do to you. You become like a puppet in the hands of a puppeteer.

Mark told me, no, he ordered me to insert the smallest dildo, which I always explained was the same size as Mick's. It entered at once, I didn't need a single drop of lubricant.

Mark: Good girl.

Me: Thanks, master.

Mark: Now the red cock, the slim one.

Me: Yes... look here... aaah... there it goes

Mark: Mmm, well done. You are a right little slut, aren't you?

Me: Oh yes, I am.

Mark: I can tell. Now the blue one.

I took the smurf, putting a little lubricant on it, but I wouldn't have needed to. It took only a few seconds to enter.

Mark: Come on, a little deeeeper...

Me: Urgh... my God... aaah!

Mark: You beautiful bitch. Well done.

Me: Aaah...

Mark: What about two in one? Bet you can't do that.

Me: Bet I can.

I took the first dildo I had put in and the smurf together, put on loads and loads of lubricant and then pushed the bigger inside first, then widened my pussy with the smaller one.

Me: Oooooaaaaargggh...

Mark: Oh – my – God! You're making me harder and harder... I've never seen such a slutty beast before!

Me: Thanks, master... aaah!

Mark: Put something in your butt.

Me: I don't do anal.

Mark: Do it for me.

Me: I don't like it. It hurts.

Mark waved his enormous cock in front of the camera.

Mark: THIS would hurt... Come ooon...

Me: All right, wait!

I couldn't believe I was doing this. I'd never have done it for Mick. All right, I would have if he had insisted forever, but only out of love for him. This was... different. I went out of the tub and in my room to get the pencil-shaped dildo, then back.

Me: Watch this.

I put on a ton of lubricant to avoid as much pain as possible, and finally stuck the little thing up my bottom.

Mark: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Come closer. Show me!

Me: Yes, master.

Mark: You make me so horny... come on, put the blue back inside! I'd cum right over your ass if I were there...

Me: Everything for you, master.

And I suddenly realized how true this was. You do everything for a big one. I smirked, thinking of Mick, whom I would tell everything later on. I shoved the smurf back into my super-wet pussy, moved it in and out fast, moaning loudly.

Me: Aaaah yesss! Yes yes yes yesss!

Mark: Do you like my cock?

Me: Fuck, yes! It's better than everything I've ever had!

Mark: Come closer, little bitch... come on... I'll cum for you...

Me: Yes, master... please

I pretended to lick his hot sperm from my computer screen, still with my blue and purple dildo inserted.

Mark: Mmm. Thanks.

Me: You're very welcome.

Mark: See you next time.

Me: Yeah. Bye.

A king-sized pussy

The idea of trying a real one took more and more hold of me. It still seemed absurd to me to really do it. I wanted to be Mick's and Mick's only. On the other hand, I was becoming more and more curious, and I had the suspicion that I once I tried, I would like it so much, I wouldn't want to stop, and this scared me very much.

Of course, I told Mick about it. He suggested we could just try once and, if either of us didn't like it, we could stop immediately. He didn't want to force me to do anything, so I would decide for us both. I thought about it, but came to the conclusion that I wasn't ready. Or it didn't simply do for me. It was one thing to fantasize and dream about it, but really doing it would change our whole relationship, and I didn't want to risk it. He was quite relaxed about it. "I'm convinced that nothing bad is going to happen if we try", he said, "from my point of view, it could only melt us together even more. I'm sure we would both enjoy it. I've seen your face when I shove those fake dicks up your pussy, you look like a different person. And if I want to cum in 30 seconds, I just imagine you screaming, being fucked hard by a horny, really well-hung guy. But I also must tell you this: while we're having sex, it turns me on beyond measure when you fantasize about being fucked by a big guy and me watching, and maybe you telling me how big he is compared to mine and so on. Then, once we are finished and lying in bed afterwards, I put my arms around you and the only thing I can think of is how much I love you, that I want to protect you and only want you for myself." My love! How sweet. I was touched and moved when I heard these words. He went on: "And besides, you're telling me that you are afraid that, if you said yes and then changed your mind again, I'd be disappointed. But how could I be? I love you and just the fact that you're even thinking about doing it turns me on like hell. More than the actual fuck! And what if it was me to back out? I don't know at this very moment how I'd react. Imagine we invited someone, and you two had both decided to go for it, and I said, no wait, I actually don't want my lady shagged by someone else? It could happen. So let's not think about it in terms of "what if not?", but let's think of it as a possible, even virtual game, and whatever you decide, I'm fine with it. But remember that IF you decide to give it a try, please do it only if you are convinced 100, no, 200%."

I decided we wouldn't do it. Who needed another person in bed? My love was the best lover I can think of. If every man/woman dedicated themselves to their partners' sexual pleasure and fulfilment like he did, there wouldn't be a care in any bed. I felt almost blessed to have a partner like him. If... well, if it just weren't for the centimetres he lacked. To make up for them, I got another, even bigger, white dildo, which I proudly showed to my web cam friends. It was 26 cm long and enormously thick. Sitting on it was immensely difficult, but feeling it inside incredibly satisfying. I couldn't believe my own eyes when I saw myself on the camera, with this monster cock inside myself. But I was beginning to feel really proud... and also started thinking that deep down inside, maybe I was really made for big cocks. It certainly looked as I was preparing myself for them... I also started to like it when our web cam contacts called me dirty names, a thing I'd always hated during my relationship with Fred. Mick also never failed to remind me how I had changed. "When we first had sex, your pussy was just like a slot", he said. "Now it's a real pussy of a size-queen."

Nitros

One of the guys we had met on the net went by the name of Nitros, and he had one of the most beautiful cocks I've ever seen, it was simply enormous. I often fantasised about what it would be like being fucked by such a huge dick. Sometimes during sex I talked about these fantasies to Mick, describing how I imagined having sex with both of them, first Mick warming me up and then this huge, huge beautiful cock entering my wet pussy... widening it even more... I realized I really got wet when I told these stories, and they seemed to be an incredible turn-on for Mick. Once, we were having sex and Mick asked me if I wanted Mr Black inside, together with his own cock. I consented and closed my eyes, drifting away... I felt first the warmer, gentler cock inside me, then the harder and longer one... as thick as my forearm... but no, it wasn't... that was Nitros' dick... he moved it backwards and forwards... slowly at first, but then faster, wilder... oh, yes, please, more, let me be your obedient pussy... how large you are, it's fantastic... aaah...yesss...

What the f...? Mick had said something and I opened my eyes, startled. I felt really strange, I was almost left with a sense of disappointment. I hadn't Nitros' cock inside me, but a real, small and an enormous fake one. It was crazy. For the first time I had experienced what it could be like to feel a real one, and I couldn't possibly deny how wonderful it had felt.

Admiring big cocks

Anyway, I decided I would never ever let something happen to me I didn't want to. I dedicated myself more to the adult chat. Sometimes we would chat together, sometimes I would pretend Mick wasn't there, chat with the other person and later send Mick the dialogue. We were very intrigued by this, but after some time a "problem" came up. I was more and more intrigued by these large cocks and started admiring them openly, also in front of Mick. He seemed quite glad that I admitted I liked them, but it happened a couple of times that, while we were chatting and he was waiting to read what the other person and I had written, I forgot completely about him. I cut him out because I was so smitten by the big cock, I only had eyes for him. When I realized that, I felt deeply ashamed and apologised. Mick seemed a bit annoyed in the beginning, but he was also sincerely pleased that I liked this new game so much. So sometimes, when we were having sex and broadcasting it to our new big-cocked friends, I would just go on chatting with them, while Mick was taking me from behind. It was then I started writing things like: "well, I sometimes really can't feel him"... "yeah, a big one would be so much better"... "mmm, I really would love to try yours", and I almost forgot Mick who was busy fucking me. This really turned me on. And often he ended up sticking me the dildos deep inside my pussy. I had become so wide and wet, he could put one fake and his real one inside together, so that it felt like one big cock. It was awesome.

A private club

A couple of times, we went to a private club. I had warned Mick that I wasn't going to swap partners or to take part in an orgy or whatever, I just wanted to go there for the experience. I told him once again that he was free to do whatever he liked with whoever he liked. He replied that I was the boss and he wouldn't do anything I wouldn't enjoy. So I was quite relaxed when we went there. There were not many people, but it didn't matter, since we weren't looking for anything in particular. After a while we started making out on what looked like a sort of giant pouffe in the middle of a room. Some people came closer to watch, and one guy stroke my arm, but I brushed it off, a little annoyed. Maybe we were making out in the wrong place, where people could participate. I asked Mick to move and we continued on a sofa. I was so relaxed that I could even climax. We had a very young couple on a sofa next to us, and the young girl whispered: "Come on... push..." but alas, her partner didn't have much to push in. It reminded me a little of Fred, his dick might have been just as small. "Oh God", I thought, alarmed, "look what I'm doing, going 'round judging other cocks", and I tried to concentrate on Mick and the sex again. All in all it was a good experience; most of all, I loved the men's longing looks: in a strange way, I liked to be at the centre of attention while fucking and being fucked. It was no different than showing yourself on web cam.

We went there again, shortly after, and this time there was a bunch of people who seemed to be friends. There were a handful of ladies and two boys and they all had sex between each other. One of the girls was really loud and exuberant, and one of the guys was quite "interesting". Mick asked me if I wanted to have a go, but I said: "Of course not! What are you thinking!?" I really hated the idea of having sex with a person you've never met before and who has just fucked five ladies, however big he may be.
 We had sex in our corner and even had some toys with us, so I didn't pay attention to the small group. Mick was laying underneath me and I was on my knees, sucking his cock with my bottom stuck in the air, so I didn't notice that this loud girl came closer and nonchalantly planted a kiss on it. Mick had had no chance to avoid it, so I turned around and stared at this woman. Mick just laughed and tried to explain, calmly and politely, that I didn't really wished to be touched by anyone else. I couldn't speak, I was just glaring at her. What the fuck? How dare you, you filthy beast? Who gave you permission to touch me? I felt like I had been attacked. Shortly after, they left and so did we. Mick was still cheerful and tried to laugh it off, but I felt horrible and I told him I felt humiliated and hurt. He replied: "Come on, it can happen in such a place. And she did nothing else. You weren't that fussy last time, when the guy took your hand." What?? I stared at him. "Have you gone mad? That's completely different, he didn't attack me from behind!" But he didn't seem to understand how I felt. I wanted to be in control of the situation, I wanted to decide myself what I would allow and what not. I really felt bad that day and we didn't go back to the place for a while. Later we wanted to go back, but learned that it had closed down.

Adult chats

I now started spending more time on adult chats and on the web cam. We created a profile as a couple on a particular website and regularly chatted with a handful of guys. We had agreed on playing with them only if they were well-endowed, since I was now a little more interested in them. It was really difficult to find them though! Often they faked their profile picture, or pretended to be well-endowed when instead their size was just about Mick's. I hated that. If I had to play, I wanted the others to play fair and if I was looking for big cocks, they had to be huge, not average. A few of the people who contacted us, or whom we contacted, were really nice and we let them watch while we were having sex. We got a lot of compliments which I enjoyed immensely, just as much as I enjoyed that what I was doing and saying was turning them on. It made me almost prouder to be able to excite a bigger cock than Mick's!

I want to be faithful

I also asked Mick why he liked big cocks so much, and he said it probably was because when he first had sex – or wanted to have sex – the girl of his choice said his cock was too small for her. Apparently this initial shock had, over time, turned into a sort of strange excitement because he now felt "inferior" to big cocks, and found it intriguing that a woman could choose a "superior" dick over a small or normal one to have sex. I thought about this. Feeling inferior? Would this mean he would be turned on if I chose a bigger one over his?? How would I feel if he chose a woman with bigger tits or whatever over me? This thought didn't turn me on in the least. But I couldn't help thinking more and more often about the possibility that he actually could like it to see me fucked by another guy, just because this guy had better "qualities". Would I like it?

I said to myself: "No, I don't need this. I want to be faithful to my lover, I don't need other people around, and if I want something stronger, I'll get the dildo out. Good. Dildo. We need more dildos." And so we ordered more dildos and other toys, like cock rings and vaginal balls, on the internet. We also ordered a very small and thin, almost pencil shaped purple vibrator, in case I wanted to try anal again, but we never used it together. My personal favourite was Mr Black, a fabulous 21 cm latex cock, so thick I couldn't get my hand around it. I really, really liked it, and used it so often, I could feel my pussy widen over time. The trouble was, sometimes when Mick an I had sex, I couldn't feel him inside me for a few seconds in certain positions. I couldn't feel if, and how deep, he was inside me, and it sometimes gave me an irritating sense of missing something inside me. But after a few seconds, this feeling vanished and everything was alright.

Big dildos

Around that time, Mick and I went to an adult shop – or let's say, he did, while I was standing and waiting outside – and bought me a gift. We were abroad that day, it was cold and rainy and I was anxious to get back to our hotel room and unpack his present, which from the outside looked like it could be a bottle of good wine in a stylish wooden case. When I unpacked it, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was a 20 cm long and also quite thick natural skin vibrator. "But what am I supposed to do with this?" I asked Mick. I was surprised and shocked, this thing was clearly too big for me. He said: "I just thought that maybe you would like to try something different from time to time... not just me." "Yeah, but... don't you think this is a bit too much? It's huge!" "Well, let's find out then!" And over the next few weeks, we tried to put this monster into my pussy, but it was really very painful and burnt like hell. I liked the idea of the gift itself and of trying something else for a change, but I didn't like the feeling of it inside me. I also thought: "What is Mick thinking of me? I've never had anything big like this." Indeed, Mick seemed to be developing an obsession for big sized penises at that time. He often showed me pictures and videos with huge cocks, and I thought they were fake and I was generally wondering why he did show me them at all. But little by little, I started getting interested in them myself. I couldn't help wondering why adult chat rooms with names like "Big Horse Cocks" and "Huge Black" were always crammed with people and you were lucky to get in, while in others there were only a handful of people. Well, sometimes it was because some guys pretended to be well-endowed in order to attract ladies (or gentlemen, for that matter). But I really started asking myself why they were so sought after. I started reading erotic stories about ladies getting laid by huge cocks and experiencing incredible things. I was intrigued and curious, but at the same thought: "It's just fiction. Well written, but fictional stories, all made up. What more can a few centimetres do? Nothing." I didn't ask myself why those stories all had a similar development and plot: a woman with an average-sized husband/partner gets to fuck a bigger one and then can't get enough of it. I just thought they were well invented, but didn't think in the least they could be true.

Mick tried again and bought me a blue strap-on dildo, which I called "smurf". It was slightly longer, but thinner, and, most of all, harder than the vibrator. We tried it and I loved it. Maybe I was just more relaxed, had grown more confidence, or maybe it was just that it was made from a different material, or that we were using more lubricant, but I really, really liked it. It almost felt real, or as real as I thought a real huge dick could be. And I absolutely loved the fact that Mick now looked like he was sporting a 21 cm dick which covered his own smaller one. When I closed my eyes, it felt like it was a different person fucking me, and it was awesome. The other fabulous thing was that I could put it on and – have a penis too, which I learned to use on Mick. I prepared him with my fingers, use loads of lubricant, then put the smurf in slowly and gently, move it a little inside him, then pulled it out again, waited a minute, put it in again, a little farther inside, out again, waited a moment, then put it all in and started to move like I was really fucking him. After we had done this a few times, after seeing how much pleasure it gave to both of us, I really started wondering what it would be like to do it with a real, big, human cock.

First fantasies and games with Mick

I lived in that town for one more year, and although John called me a few times more, we never had sex again. I just couldn't. Mick came to see me a few times, and after one year I moved to the town he lived in. We still met in secret and I couldn't introduce him to my new friends because of his family situation, but we met as often as we could. In the meantime I had also confessed my sex episode with John, but instead of him being jealous or getting mad, he found the fact that a person other than him had fucked me exciting. He only seemed angry at the fact that it had taken me so long to tell him. I thought this was very strange, I didn't find the idea of him having sex with another woman exactly exciting, but I told him from the beginning that whenever he had the desire to try someone else or to do something I wasn't up for, like orgies or whatever, he was free to do it. He gave me the same freedom, of course, but I didn't have the slightest desire to have sexual experiences with other people as long as I could have sex with him. We once discussed though if we should include John in our games, and I even called him on the phone to ask him if he wanted to do it, but he didn't. He said the only way to have a threesome was with two girls, since he didn't want any competition. Of course this was no option and in the end I was quite happy that nothing came out of it. These games just didn't do for me. I wanted to enjoy sex just with my partner. This didn't mean I didn't have sexual fantasies of other men sleeping with me, but in the beginning I was a little ashamed of them and just pushed them aside.

After some time, Mick asked me why I didn't join an adult chat in which he was quite active. I, on the other hand, hated the idea. Looking at and chatting with some random horny guys? Why? I didn't really understand the spirit of it, I didn't understand how this could be a game to share and to enjoy in a partnership. It was just a waste of time and I didn't get why Mick spent so much time on it. He was interested in learning about other people's experiences, their fantasies, their preferences. I really couldn't care less. To me it was important to enjoy my relationship with Mick, and I didn't want anyone to interfere with it.

But I was curious to know what was so interesting about the whole thing. So we decided we would try together. I signed up for an adult chat as well and we sat together in front of my computer, or we were together, but using two computers and two different accounts. Under no circumstance I wanted to chat on my own, I wouldn't have had anything to say or to ask. I had always considered people on adult sites some sort of perverts. But little by little, I discovered how not only watching people on a web cam can be real fun, but also showing myself and turning people on. I still had this idea that I wasn't attractive compared to many girls on those websites. Gradually, though, I learned that most people don't go looking for perfect bodies, but for real people and a little entertainment.

In love with Mick

We repeated this experience a few times during the time we spent together in England. I quickly went over the fact that I probably would never see him again and that we didn't have a future together because of his family. I just enjoyed his closeness and the sex, which was wonderful and carefree. The only thing that was strange to me was that he wanted to know a lot about my sex life, my preferences, any particularly spicy experiences, if I had had sex with more than two people and so on. When I said no, he seemed a bit disappointed because of the lack of something intriguing in my sex life. The only interesting I could come up with was my first blow job, which I had given to a friend of mine in the back of my father's car in our garage. And the story with John, of course, but that was still tinged with a little bit of guilt. But I didn't see myself as a person who could have sex with more than one man at the same time, all the more if I was in a firm relationship with a man I really loved. I was just not the type. Mick, on the other hand, was bi-curious and had had a couple of experiences with another man, but never with more than one person.

When we said goodbye, I was grateful for the wonderful time I had spent with Mick. Just like before our trip, we spent a lot of time chatting on the Internet. After a month or so, John called me to see if I was available for a little fuck. I consented with mixed feelings. I had completely forgotten John over the experience with Mick. But I thought I was never going to see Mick again, that he was going back to his usual life without me, so why not have a little fun. So he came and he fucked me as usual, but it just didn't feel right. I missed the gentleness and the long sex I had experienced, and also the few more centimetres of his dick couldn't make up for it. Everything was just wrong. John said afterwards: "Every time you meet someone, you're a bit strange when we meet again." Not only was he right, but he had grasped the fact that I had fallen for Mick long before me.

Then I had the chance to meet Mick again two weeks later during a conference, and we shared a room in the hotel he was staying. After a few days, while driving back home after taking one of the speakers to the airport, he came by just to see me, just to say hello. It was then I knew I was in love with that man, however hopeless the situation was.

The first time with Mick

Mick and I shared a room for three days at the venue in order to save money. During the last night we even shared a bed, since I was terribly cold and he did his best to warm me, without ever taking advantage of the situation.

But it was only a matter of days. Although I had promised myself I'd never have any kind of relationship with a married man again, I was strangely attracted to him, both physically and, in a way, emotionally. At nights, after we went to sleep in our respective bedrooms, I got up again to see him, and we would talk and then I would sleep in his bed, and we wouldn't do anything. I was terribly torn; on one hand, I felt my sexual appetite rising and was hoping for him to feel some physical attraction for me too and do something, and on the other hand, I hoped he was strong enough not to touch me, because I didn't want him to feel guilty or to cause him trouble with his family.

One night, I couldn't sleep and turned forever in my bed, then got up to see Mick in his room once more. I asked him if I could stay and he agreed. We lay in bed for a while, close to each other, and I felt the warmth of his body. I was terribly nervous and felt tension mounting inside me. When I turned round, showing Mick my back, I suddenly felt his hands resolutely on my breasts. All I could think at this moment was: "At last!" I instantly felt strangely free to enjoy this moment, I felt sexy and desired, even more than by John. I wanted to be touched by him and to touch him. I moaned and turned around lustily, feeling his hands on my body and started to touch him too. I remember noticing his very nice, firm butt. We didn't do much during this first night, but after two nights I couldn't sleep once more and went to his room. We messed around a bit, and I ended up giving him a blow job. Since I had stopped doing this to Fred, I enjoyed it immensely again. Giving pleasure to Mick by sucking his cock was just like giving it to myself. I liked the fact that he cared very much about hygiene, and I immediately loved the smell of his skin and the taste of his cock and his sperm. He, on the other hand, explained that he wouldn't lick my pussy for safety reasons, and I quite agreed and was also impressed by his sense of responsibility.

A couple of days later, we were in his bed again, touching each other and chatting. I asked him shyly if he would like to have sex with me. He replied that he would love to, but didn't have any condoms. In a second, I pulled one out from under his bed, which I had previously hidden there. He gave me a surprised look, as if to say: "I didn't think you were such a sexpot", then took the condom, rolled it over his erection and then gently slid it in. We had sweet and soft sex. I noticed his penis was just a little shorter than John's, but he was much, much more resistant.

Journey to Britain

And then, after three years more, I took my degree at the end of April. At the end of May, while celebrating my best friends' degree, I met a man who had been invited as an external supervisor. Since he was interested in the subject I had written my thesis on, we had a lot to talk about. We talked and talked as if we had been knowing each other forever. His name was Mick and he was huge and had friendly blue eyes.

He lived in a different town with his wife and children. I contacted him a week later, since he had told me it was his birthday. He was very surprised that I had remembered it. Over the next few weeks, we spent quite a lot of time chatting on the Internet and talking on the phone, which I had never done before. I had always considered it a waste of time to use the computer for other purposes than work or research, and I wasn't the type to talk on the phone for more than five minutes. Yet, we talked and talked. I was very taken with this most interesting man. I learned that he was going to Britain in the summer, since he was attending a conference about a very interesting subject, and I told him how much I would like to go there too. In the end, he decided I should come too, so we could save money renting a house together with some of his friends. I was already waiting with my suitcase ready when John called me on the phone. "Are you up to it?" he asked. "Sorry, but there isn't time, they're going to pick me up any minute now!" "Give me two minutes", re replied. And sure enough he came to send me off with a very special farewell. He came inside me and then I had a very quick wash and he left. Maybe two minutes later the doorbell rang and I welcomed Mick and his friend with what must have been looked like a retarded smile, still dizzy... and off we went.

John is furious

I worked at the restaurant one more year, then I quit and went back to studying. I took it very seriously this time and studied very diligently. Fred, on the other hand, still had no job and no perspective. He became stranger and more aggressive, hung out with his junkie friends and we hardly ever saw each other. After a couple of months and a few fall-outs, we ended our relationship. I later heard from some friends that he went on to take drugs, stealing money from his mother, mugging an old lady and doing other not-so-nice stuff.

I concentrated hard on my exams and also made a lot of new friends. I had also always been interested in the paranormal and in energy therapies, so I dedicated some time to those things as well. I had regular sex with John and no other love interests, so there was no need to feel guilty any more. And these feelings of guilt started fading anyway. I more and more considered myself a woman who had the right to take from someone else what she couldn't get from the one who should have given it.

From time to time, we would take a break, either because I had to prepare exams or because his wife had another baby, then take everything up again. During one of these breaks I did meet someone on a trade fair I was interested in (his name was Marcus), but like other times before, he didn't share my feelings. We did end up in bed though, just a couple of times, and when I told John, he was furious. Even though he had always assured me that if I found someone else, we would stop our little game, and even though during all that time he was, of course, also having sex with his wife, he was so angry, he almost went out of his mind. But he later cooled down and apologised, and we continued. We also tried anal, but just as with Fred, I didn't like it and I didn't get the hype. It just hurt, hurt, hurt. But I liked all the rest we did and this idea of quick, uncommitted sex.

In my boyfriend's house

Once, the warm water and heating in my flat were not working. We all were freezing and couldn't wash, so I asked Fred if I could stay at his house for a couple of days, and he agreed. I was alone one morning, Fred had to go to town to meet somebody and his mother was working. I got a text from John, reading: "5 minutes?" I replied: "Can't, I'm at Fred's." He wrote back: "Alone?" I: "Yes". And sure enough, 5 minutes later I got one more text: "Open up!" I couldn't believe it. He wanted to have sex with me in my boyfriend's house. Room. Bed. I lead him to Fred's bedroom and he pushed me inside: "Come on, we haven't got much time!" He tore his clothes off, while I still stared at him incredulously. "Come on, doggy!" he said. It was then I woke up, pulled my trousers and pants down at once, knelt on the bed and also said: "Come on, hurry up!" He pushed his hard cock inside – it always seemed to be hard - and I wondered once more how quickly my pussy got wet whenever his cock was near. He started pumping hard at once, and I moaned faintly. I had always been able to control the sounds that came out of my mouth during sex, but this didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it. For a split second I thought about how strange and "dirty" it was to have sex with another man in my boyfriend's bedroom, then this other man climaxed and it was all over. Being licked in this bed would have been too much. John cleaned himself quickly, got dressed again and winked: "We are two right little pigs, eh?" I smiled back and he left. Yes, I felt like a real sow and I couldn't decide whether I liked it or not. But I did not spend much time thinking about it. I had enjoyed it as always, and I also felt guilty as always.

Two guys in less than half an hour

One Saturday after work, he drove me to Fred's where I was going to spend the night. A couple of minutes before arriving at his house, he stopped at a car park and said: "You turn me on much too much... come on, let's have a quickie before I drop you off!" I grinned, quickly got rid of my jeans and pants, pulled down his trousers and slipped his hard cock in my warm pussy, sitting on it. Being top was not my favourite position, as I preferred being "controlled" and "subdued". But there wasn't much room in the car, so this was the most comfortable position for both of us. After just a handful of minutes of fast and wild sex we were both sweating and smiling. We got dressed again and I walked the last few meters up to Fred's house. We had dinner, then I had a quick shower, since I "smelt of pizza", as Fred never failed to remind me. When I got out of the bathroom, Fred did something he hadn't done for ages: he waited for me, naked, and instead of just having me his cock sucked with nothing for me in return, he took me to bed and pushed it in. I was almost shocked at how small it felt. It had never been a problem and we had never talked about it, but compared to the fuck I had had twenty minutes earlier, this was... ridiculous. I didn't feel anything. And there was another voice in my head which whispered: "Congratulations... two guys in less than half an hour!" I felt ashamed and proud at the same time. I was almost about to confess everything to Fred while we were having sex, but I stopped myself in time. Automatically, I grabbed his butt and thrust my pelvis against his, and he said: "Mmm... you like it when I push hard, don't you, bitch?" This 'bitch' turned me off at once. I didn't like it when he called me dirty names, I considered it disrespectful. I also thought: 'Yes, dork, I like hard pushing, but I can't feel a thing." But I regretted that thought at once, because he was really trying. Fred was much more resistant than John, so when he finally came, I was almost glad it was over.

The first orgasm

We kept meeting in secret during the months that ensued and in spite of my bad conscience I enjoyed every second of our sex. We never kissed, because for both of us it didn't feel right, but we met very frequently and had sex after work, in the afternoons, in the car, in the park, in my room, in the restaurant we were working in, at his house, in a hotel room... and sometimes we would have a quick one before he took me to Fred's house, where I spent the night. I had no problems with the fact that he didn't last very long, because I liked the idea of quick, heavy, animal sex. We both got blood-tested and then had bare sex; and while sucking Fred's (now surprisingly small) cock had increasingly become nothing but some sort of "marital duty", sucking John's became the greatest of pleasures, together with receiving cunnilingus from him. I hadn't experienced an orgasm yet and it did bother me a bit, since John had told me that his wife came every time they had sex. Once again, I thought there was something wrong with me. Still, I immensely enjoyed having someone who really loved licking my pussy.

During the following summer holidays I stayed at Fred's house, since his mother wasn't there. One night we were watching TV in his mother's full-size bed, and after a while he started snoring. I, on the other hand, couldn't get any sleep and tossed and turned in the bed for hours. Without thinking of anything or anyone in particular, I started to stroke my breasts, then to carefully touch my pussy. I rubbed it gently for a while, simply enjoying the sensations my fingers caused. I may have lain there for 30 minutes, maybe more, without really concentrating hard on my hand movements, just touching myself and feeling my pussy pulsing more and more, and I couldn't get enough of it. Still, I was careful not to wake Fred up. I didn't want him to see me, I wanted this very private moment just for myself. I continued fingering myself for some more minutes... I was sweating, my breathing got more and more shallow, I felt tension and more pleasure building... and then it was like an explosion. I had never, ever experienced anything similar. My clitoris pulsated like mad, I saw treetops and hills, an explosion of colours and flowers and felt waves of incredible pleasure and warmth all over me. I had my eyes firmly closed and after about a minute I started breathing normally again and opened them, staring at the ceiling. I had just experienced my first orgasm ever and it was... wow! I could understand why everybody made such a fuss about it. It really WAS indescribable, wonderful, marvellous, divine. Would it ever be possible to repeat it? I held my breath for a moment, then started to rub my pussy again, almost impatiently, anxious to repeat this breathtaking experience. And sure enough, after just a few seconds, my muscles contracted and I climaxed again. I had never expected this and I got even more excited. How many times more could this happen? I fingered myself again and again, for at least an hour, in Fred's mother's bed, without him realising anything. I must have had at least 65-70 orgasms that night, as if I had to make up for every one I had not had up to now.

When I told John about my achievement a few days later, sex with him became even more enjoyable, as he managed to make me come a few times every time he licked my pussy. The only thing I didn't like, though, was the fact that he wouldn't stop licking after one orgasm and wait for me to relax, just to tease me.